Marriage For One Month more

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand  and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly.  Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how  to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a  divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I  avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the  chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t  talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what  had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory  answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I  just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce  agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30%  stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into  pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become  a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I  could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally  she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see.  To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which  had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The  next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at  the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell  asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In  the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want  anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She  requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a  life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a  month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken  marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more,  she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our  wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month’s  duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning.  I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together  bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s  divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No  matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said  scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my  divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on  the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us,  daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of  pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked  over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said  softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat  upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to  work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us  acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the  fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman  carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There  were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had  taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On  the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy  returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On  the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was  growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry  her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me  stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on  quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed,  all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown  so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our  son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To  him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential  part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged  him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change  my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from  the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand  surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was  just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me  sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a  step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t  noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office… jumped  out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay  would make me change my mind… I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door  and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She  looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a  fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I  won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I  didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each  other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on  our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane  seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed  the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At  the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife.  The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote,  I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead.

My  wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to  even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me  from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru  with the divorce –At least, in the eyes of our son— I’m a loving  husband…

The small details of  your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the  mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an  environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in  themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little  things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy  marriage!